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Adds years to your life and health to your years.

Ahhh, spring time, when the sun comes back bringing with it, its warming light and reviving power.  Spring is the season of Easter, gardening, allergies, spring break, cleaning, and renewal of life.  This season is not only about renewal in nature, but renewal of us as well.  Spring is a great opportunity to reexamine our life and make changes where needed.  The first step is cleaning out or "spring cleaning of the soul".  Our emotional garbage builds from year to year just like all that junk in your attic.  After several years the emotional bags began to fill and then overflow into areas of our life, specifically our health. Fortunately, there is a solution to getting rid of all those overflowing bags, the best self cleaning solution on the market, FORGIVENESS.

 

For some of us we were first introduced to the concept of forgiveness at a young age in the context of our religious teaching.  Christianity along with several other major religions are rooted in the concept of forgiveness.  In the Bible, Matthew 19:22 Jesus instructs us to forgive our brother "seventy times seven".  For others forgiveness has been taught through the hard lessons of life, "To err is human to forgive divine" (Alexander Pope).  No matter how you learned about forgiveness we each have our own perspective and definition on exactly what it means to forgive, however; one common thread holds true for everyone, not allowing yourself to forgive is unhealthy.  In my research to investigate the connection between forgiveness and physical health what I discovered about the effects on our bodies was not surprising.  I was surprised, however to learn about the amount of research being done on the subject of forgiveness; major research universities such as Stanford University, University of Michigan, University of Wisconsin at Madison and University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill all have had large scale Forgiveness research projects.  Though most of these projects are in their infancy stage there findings are intriguing.  According to a Gallup pole most Americans think that it is important to forgive, however; less then half of us actually practice the concept in our lives.  Harboring ill feelings toward another or holding a grudge can actually increase your chances for heart disease and even cancer.  Research has shown that anger prone people are three times more likely to suffer a heart attack or bypass surgery then those who are less angry.  Men who were better at diffusing anger had half as many strokes as angrier men, and out of 680 women with chest pain found those who harbored feelings of anger were four times more likely to have high cholesterol and higher body mass index both of which are linked to heart disease (Better Homes &Gardens, 4-2002).

 


Those who practice the art of forgiveness in their lives report higher self-esteem, lower cholesterol and blood pressure, and an over-all positive outlook on life.  The bottom line with all of this research is, holding on to feelings of hurt creates negative stress which is harmful to our health and immune system.  If we know it is bad for us and science can prove it is bad for us not to forgive, why can't we just let go of our anger?  It is hard to truly purge yourself of hurt and anger.  We have to be careful not to have "forgiveness lite" meaning we forgive on the outside by going through the motions, however; we continue to harbor the bad feelings on the inside.  In order to not fall victim to forgiveness lite we must learn to practice forgiveness as a lifestyle and not just a concept.   Many of us only put forgiveness into practice with the really "big hurts" in our life, when a friend betrays our trust, or a co-worker "stabs you in the back", or when a family member makes a hurtful remark.  The truth is practicing a lifestyle of forgiveness includes the driver who cuts you off in traffic, the sales clerk who blows you off at the store, or the telemarketer who interrupts your dinner.  The little hurts and frustrations in life deserve your forgiveness too.  It is for this reason that forgiveness, the kind that positively impacts your health, must be practiced as a lifestyle and not just a concept saved for the big hurtful stuff.   Here are a few steps you can take provided by the experts to help get you started toward forgiveness: 1) Acknowledge your anger.  2) Decide to forgive.  3) Do not seek revenge 4) Consider the source; think about their back ground.  5) Empathize; consider the other person's current life situation.  6) Give your self time; depending on the offense it could take years to move past the hurt.  It is important to allow your self time to work through each of these steps to truly forgive someone from the inside out and not the outside in.  "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." (Paul Boese) I would love to hear from you wdtconsulting@monroeaccess.net.