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Those who practice the art of forgiveness in their lives report higher self-esteem, lower cholesterol and blood pressure, and an over-all positive outlook on life. The bottom line with all of this research is, holding on to feelings of hurt creates negative stress which is harmful to our health and immune system. If we know it is bad for us and science can prove it is bad for us not to forgive, why can't we just let go of our anger? It is hard to truly purge yourself of hurt and anger. We have to be careful not to have "forgiveness lite" meaning we forgive on the outside by going through the motions, however; we continue to harbor the bad feelings on the inside. In order to not fall victim to forgiveness lite we must learn to practice forgiveness as a lifestyle and not just a concept.   Many of us only put forgiveness into practice with the really "big hurts" in our life, when a friend betrays our trust, or a co-worker "stabs you in the back", or when a family member makes a hurtful remark. The truth is practicing a lifestyle of forgiveness includes the driver who cuts you off in traffic, the sales clerk who blows you off at the store, or the telemarketer who interrupts your dinner. The little hurts and frustrations in life deserve your forgiveness too. It is for this reason that forgiveness, the kind that positively impacts your health, must be practiced as a lifestyle and not just a concept saved for the big hurtful stuff.  Here are a few steps you can take provided by the experts to help get you started toward forgiveness: 1) Acknowledge your anger. 2) Decide to forgive. 3) Do not seek revenge 4) Consider the source; think about their back ground. 5) Empathize; consider the other person's current life situation. 6) Give your self time; depending on the offense it could take years to move past the hurt. It is important to allow your self time to work through each of these steps to truly forgive someone from the inside out and not the outside in. "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." (Paul Boese) I would love to hear from you wdtconsulting@monroeaccess.net.
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